Hi Elan's team, hope you guys are enjoying the well-deserved time off! 🥰
Whenever you guys would get a chance-- I want to ask questions on the application from the Response-Ability transmission; I am genuinely struggling...a bit.
I followed along with Elan's guidance. Not applying to my own beliefs yet, but soaking in. I am feeling the heaviness.. the dread and sadness... yes it doesn't feel good. Shifting to the new idea that aligns with love.. yes, it really does feel better. I can feel the shift. And it was done all in my head, within 10 minutes. I laughed when she said it felt too easy.
When I am applying the guidance to my own current beliefs however, I am feeling - I don't want to call it a resistance, more like.. a cry for help. I'll get vulnerable here for better context & hoping it will help others.
There was someone I loved and was in a committed relationship for 6 years. We had built a life then, and basically grew up together in our 20s. We moved across the country together. It was not a perfect relationship by any means, few red flags, but I willfully ignored since he had became a significant part of my life & influence on my growth. Though in the end, he ended up marrying someone whom he met for less than a year. I was cut off contact very abruptly. That was a year ago. I've been in a very loving relationship with another person since then, and we are progressing in our relationship very smoothly. :) I still think about the 6 year relationship to this day. No, not about getting back together with the ex (don't want that), but the memories we shared and the impact it had on me. As flawed as the relationship was, I like to believe that the love that was exchanged was... real. The love I had & felt for him was real. It feels like he had died suddenly, and I am grieving the loss of him & parts of me. So in doing Elan's exercise, the belief I was shifting (from negative) to was "He and you--we-- both agreed to participate in this relationship in that manner and the ending of it. It took an immense amount of love from both sides to create the experience together, for the important lessons we chose to explore in our own journey. Know that it was done with love. Know that it was for our highest good."
I truly believe this. I take a deep breath, and I read it again. I resonate. Elan.... it still really, really hurts.
I feel the love from the belief. I do. But it still hurts. Tears are pouring, emotions are still coming in, even after a year later, on and off. It's like time doesn't matter (even in 3D!) when it comes to these things.
I feel like I am guilt tripping myself for "choosing" to dwell on this & essentially is my 'fault', for the lack of better word, for feeling this way. But even with love IT DOES FEEL PAINFUL! And I can't--I just, I don't know 'can't' or 'won't', shift instantly like the exercise on this. I felt pain. I'm human. Elan, help. 😢 I'm going to chomp on my favorite chocolate cookies meanwhile.
Edit (08/07):
Thank you guys so, so much- for your heartfelt comments. I’ve been crying and releasing the emotions for the past few days, and I’m going to give the full attention it needs each time (if or when) it comes up again. I’ve read all the comments, digested them, and I resonate with your messages. I'm sending the love back to you. Thank you for taking your time, deciding to reach out and share help. You guys are truly the best. Appreciate each of you greatly. 🥹❤️