I'm not sure where to post this or even if it's appropriate but since it involves the application of what I've learned through Elan's teachings I'll put this out here.
I find myself in an ongoing situation that I would not have asked to be in, but I sense a higher purpose at work and see it as one of those times my higher self (total Self) is orchestrating. It is so complex I will need to leave out many details and just give the bare bones of it here, so bear with me.
About three years ago my next door neighbor asked for help with paying for a prescription she needed as she had lost her insurance and had no money. I agreed, but little did I know that it would turn into a convoluted series of events that continues to this day. She is disabled with mental and physical health issues and a rather checkered past, but she is a human being and I realize all things being equal it was my choice to help or not. That was just the beginning of a journey filled with challenges, opportunities, many instances of agony and so far, red light synchronicity.
Many levels and realities were at play, it soon became evident.
Dealing with faceless agencies and their representatives became an ordeal of such proportion it felt as though the universe itself was conspiring to destroy everything in its path. I know the universe has my back and all things, even seeming negative ones are for an ultimate good, but I wasn't seeing it, wasn't feeling it. Time to look at some beliefs.
I create my own reality as she is the creator of hers and it seemed as though she was unconsciously hell bent on exploring the depths of lack and limitation facing homelessness, destitution and literally life threatening health situations. My own situation was dark as I continued to choose to help to the best of my ability but continued to see no resolution either immediate or even on the horizon. I did not prefer this at all.
I can see how I have attracted this situation in order to learn from it, and circumstances are neutral and I assign the meaning but it's been taking some self reflection to get there.
The matter of helping her financially became a moral wrangling and I resented being put into a position where I felt extorted by state and federal agencies and I was to be the arbiter of life and death in a very literal sense. I am retired and I watch in real time as my life savings dwindle. I look at the whole responsible for and responsible to issue and it is brought into clear focus...I question my sanity as I wonder if I should ever have chosen to help her at all, and always striving to do 'the right thing' as I decide it to be, I decide that I will. I choose that I will knowing somehow everything will work out BECAUSE I SAY SO. I get stubborn like that. I seek to lift my sister but she is so heavy now. I need to see her as Light yeah?
Every day poses a new opportunity to choose and I know I am free to walk away from everything and one way or another ALL THAT IS will care for her, but as representative of ALL THAT IS in human form it comes back to me.
She is the same and is the Creator too, but she doesn't know it yet. If a demon and a bulldog had a love child, that would be her on the outside, but I know she has a Heart of goodness and she feels terrible about the situation as it has played out for me. She has been deemed unlovable by all but not by God, this I know, and as God is within me...so it plays out. As I continue to apply what I know, face and transform fear and anxiety as they arise, I have one foot in the unknown and I'm okay with that. Sure would like a break though! I figure that break will come from inside as I shift and will then be reflected outside...no division really but at this point in time I'm still in it. I'll update as I move it.
So, as wordy as all this has been, it is the short version nonetheless. Any insights welcome. Thanks. Love to you all.
Dave, thank you for bringing up such an important example for everyone to reflect on as this is a common trap for many who are awakening and reaching out to help others out of their loving kindness, but then ending up taking on responsibility for them.
Your post has also gifted us with a fabulous response from @Elan Interactions to really bring clarity to this common situation for us.
I too have fallen into the trap of the 'unhealthy helper' out of my love of wanting to help various family members and others over the years and it took me a long time to realize that not only was I doing a disservice to myself... both financially and also affecting my own health by taking on tasks that stressed my system to the limits at times... but also to them by not allowing them to take responsibility for themselves and leaving them dependant on me as that was so much easier for them than having to step up and do something about their own plight and take responsibility for themselves.
As the Great Masters tell us... we should not interfere with another's life lessons as we only delay their progress and do them a great disservice... and also do ourselves a disservice. It is a very tough lesson to learn when your heart screams 'help them' when we see them struggling with some extremely difficult, and also very painful 'lessons'.
When I look back now, I also see that not only was it my loving kindness wanting to help, but there was also an unconscious sense of guilt playing out... particularly when realizing I needed to 'let them go'. And that was another exploration within myself to discover why I felt so guilty if I didn't help someone.
In other words, I wasn't helping people out of my 'excitement and integrity'... I helped out because I felt guilty if I didn't... big difference!!
So, thank you again for your post! 😍